Wife: did you go the pta meeting? (beginning text)
Police officer: yes.
Wife: ok thank you I am going to be late again tonight
Officer: k (end text)
Daughter: jeez I hate those things but I am happy you got to see my art
Officer: yeah same
Daughter: so how was work?
Officer: I don’t want to talk about it
Daughter: ok so what happened?
Officer: dammit I said I don’t —
Daughter: (tear rolls down cheek)
Officer: hey you know the rules no crying
Daughter: (starts to sob)
Officer: (pulls the car over)
What? What? What? Ok. Fuck. I am sorry. I am just really hungry. No. Ok. I. What? What’s going on with you? Something happen to you?
Daughter: no stop. You fucking stop.
Officer: sometimes stuff happens at work I can’t talk about
Daughter: bullshit
Officer: no this one was bad
Daughter: I can tell. What happened?
Officer: for the love of Christ! No. Don’t fucking start again. (Gets out of car)
Daughter: (stays in car balling)
Officer: (takes out cigarettes and smokes three in a row and gets back in car)
Daughter: (composed) ok. I’m sorry. There is just this boy at school and he took my lunch today as a prank.
Officer: so what?
Daughter: well it was the best friend of a boy I like and the boy I like didn’t do anything.
Officer: right. He didn’t do anything. (Pauses)
Daughter: yah and I really wanted him to. Like really wanted him to. And then he fucking..
Officer: wow, language.
Daughter: please. Then he ate some of my lunch with the other boy.
Officer: wow.
Daughter: I didn’t tell on him or anything because I really do like him.
Officer: why do you like him?
Daughter: because he talks to me.
Officer: that’s it?
Daughter: yah.
Officer: do you still want to talk to him after this?
Daughter: well yeah but then after lunch in our class together he like, didn’t even acknowledge I existed.
Officer: he probably feels like a dork.
Daughter: I even forgave him and told him I did and he walked right past and even bumped my shoulder without apologizing.
Officer: (frowns) (grits teeth) (spits out window)
Daughter: it was when he hit me that I realized I loved him because..
Officer: stop.
Daughter: (looks wide eyed like she is about to break into tears again)
Officer: I mean stop loving him
Daughter: (daughters eyes get even wider like she is going to pop)
Officer: I mean why did him hitting you without apologizing make you realize you love him?
Daughter: because I forgave him right away and just wanted him to love me back.
Officer: wow.
Daughter: what?
Officer: just what you said reminded me of the something bad that happened at work today.
Daughter: oh yeah. What happened at work today.
Officer: (eyes narrow and the wheels grind in his head about a way to not tell his daughter that he threw a woman’s body in the river as a hired hand for the city without her crying about him not opening up to her) it’s just that your mom hasn’t been around much recently and the work load gets really taxing when that happens too much.
Daughter: you have me and plus you said something specific happened today.
Officer: I did?
Daughter: yah and I can tell when you are lying because you are shit at it.
Officer: language. Ok. Fuck. I mean, I’m sorry. Do you still have that night time scuba diving gear we got for cave diving last year?
Daughter: yah of course I do. We never used it.
Officer: do you want to help me fish a dead body out of the river?
Daughter: (eyes wide like they are going to pop) YES!
Officer: ok. Let’s do it.
Epilogue: the daddy daughter date was a success and they pulled the dead carcass from the bottom of the river beneath the bridge. When they pulled her out of the body bag she was in she came to. The woman screamed at the top of her lungs and ran into the forest naked at sprinter speed like a wild animal. The shriek gave the officer and daughter a tingle down both of their spines and goose bumps all over and they never talked about it again. They never talked about it again of course after the daughter made him tell her once about the entire story start to finish no bullshit over cheeseburgers and corn dogs at Sonic.
The way that this is
I would make it more than this
Even if I did
I wouldn’t have the courage
Or the resources
Or the character
To make this more than it is
Even this as it is
Is more than I’ve had
And is all I can give
The way that this is
Dad: What the hell do you want me to tell you?
Daughter: The truth.
Dad: The truth is the teachers at the parent teacher conference all said that your reputation has gotten so bad that they think I should not have any contact with you.
Daughter: Why would my behavior have consequences for you?
Dad: Because parents influence their children.
Daughter: Why would you listen to teachers?
Dad: It wasn’t just the teachers. It was the counselor, the principal and apparently the mayor.
Daughter: The mayor?
Dad: The mayor has been warned about my volatile daughter and my influence on her.
Daughter: The mayor of the suburban town or of the metropolitan city?
Dad: I think both.
Daughter: What the fuck?
Dad: Right.
Daughter: What the fuck?
Dad: Exactly.
Daughter: How do we fight this?
Dad: Nothing to fight.
Daughter: What did we do?
Dad: We were ourselves. Capital crime.