Film I

 I don’t know. What the hell. I am sober as a cucumber cunt so I might as well write. Let’s talk about actors on this one. Steve McQueen is one hell of an actor. What’s a good movie of his? Bullit (1968). It’s real intense. Compact. He plays a police officer. Speeds around San Francisco. 

Another one with McQueen is Papillon (1973). He co-stars with Dustin Hoffman and they are sent to a prison camp that they try to escape from repeatedly and fail continuously. It is humorous but it is certainly not a comedy. The movie is so long and the acting by the duo so well done that it is easy to sympathize with their suffering kind of like the prison films Green Mile (1999) or Shawshank Redemption (1994) but more philosophical and less dramatic than those two more modern films.

Paul Newman was another leading man from the same time period. The guy from the salad dressing bottles. He starred in so many movies but a good one is the Hustler (1961). When I watched this movie I have such a squirrels mind that I thought the character of Paul Newman was out to hustle the entire cast from the start. I am still not convinced that it is impossible that Paul Newman the man had this same plot conceived while the director and writer were aiming for a more innocent plot of a young dupe accidentally falling into getting his way with everything and leaving collateral everywhere he goes. Oh yeah, he is a pool player in this one if you don’t know. The Color of Money (1986) he plays a pool player as well but this time as an older gentleman with a young Tom Cruise.

Tom Cruise is a hell of an actor. How about Top Gun? The original Top Gun (1986) from when he was young with co-star Val Kilmer. American arrogance and exceptionalism mixed in a perfect cocktail. He is a young greaser in the Outsiders (1983) with Matt Dillon and Patrick Schwayze which is one of the best coming of age movies for roughnecks.

Matt Dillon. Shoot. Crash (2004). Wild Things (1998) with Kevin Bacon and Bill Murray.

Bill Murray. 1980 season of SNL. Caddy Shack (1980). The French Dispatch (2021) may be the last time we see this guy in original form since the cancer culture bug hath chosen to bite our dear friend.

Marlon Brando can’t be skipped if we are talking actors. The Godfather (1972) has to be his most relevant film but he is impossibly larger than life in Apocalypse Now! (1979)

Why all white guys?

Huh. Good point. Let’s choose a black guy.

Can’t think of one I want to talk about.

A white woman?

Reese Witherspoon was nice in Walk the Line (2005).

Oh shoot Joaquin Phoenix. This guy in The Master (2012) with Phillip Hoffman. Terrifying. I think that character is scarier than his deal as the Joker (2019). 

Wasn’t Phillip Hoffman cool as that guy who drove the van in Twister (1996)?

Rocking AC/DC as he drove into Tornados. 

Alright let’s do another. Johnny Depp. Dead Man (1995). What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (1993)? With a young Leonardo Di Caprio who plays a mentally challenged kid phenomenally. Leonardo Di Caprio in the Revenant (2015) with Tom Hardy and Once Upon A Time (2019) in Hollywood with Brad Pitt. 

Brad Pitt (2011) in Moneyball. 

Jude Law in Cold Mountain.

Nicole Kidman in Cold Mountain.

Renee Zellwegger in Cold Mountain (2003).

Ok. Let’s talk about a black woman actor.

Nope.

Why?

It feels political. Straight up. It’s like I can talk freely about any white actor or actress but if it’s about a minority then I have to do it right and frankly I don’t know how to talk about a minority right. It’s not in my knowledge to do anymore. I wouldn’t kill a buffalo if I didn’t have a reason to or know how to do something with it afterwards. So I am not going to sit here and say Eddie Murphy, Dave Chapelle, Chris Rock, Kevin Hart because really what I liked them for was the shit they said that got them in trouble and admitting that could get me in trouble so I won’t mention that or them.