So I don’t know too much about movie producers.
I think this is pretty common.
Like, we all know and have our favorite actors.
Then some of us have our favorite directors.
How about your favorite movie producers?
I thought about it and I could only think of three movie producers.
Chris Nolan produced Superman.
Then there is Harvey Weinstein who I only became aware of after he was canceled.
So that became an interesting dichotomy for me for people I knew who were movie producers without, you know, going on Wikipedia for research.
Trying to write about film as though it was just me and someone else having a conversation.
So it was either super man or like the depraved Weinstein?
Weinstein said his recipe for success in Hollywood was sex and violence.
He meant for his movies but that seems to go for his personal life too.
Then there was Chris Nolan who produced Superman.
So I was thinking those were two total different extremes and it was bothering me that I didn’t know about movie producing except for Superman and Weinstein.
I thought about it for a month or longer.
Then I remembered Lorne Michaels.
Lorne Michaels is my favorite producer.
He made SNL.
Then he dropped off of it in the 1980s and the show went horrible but then he came back in the 1990s.
He has produced many of the first and the last buddy comedies.
The ones where buddy gets laid and then has to deal or where buddy deals so he can get laid.
Lorne Michaels to me is a standard of Hollywood production.
It should have high quality entertainment but still appeal to a certain sensibility.
I smacked this guy across the face with a bible. I was thirteen and he was fifteen. A couple years later when I was fifteen and he was seventeen he picked me up and body slammed my skull onto concrete. Thoroughly disgusted with each other we began hanging out. Rafting storm drainage creeks, walking across town in sewer tunnels and climbing the highest and most impressive structures we could find. The rest of this story is not about the guy who slammed my skull onto concrete but the kid I was trying to defend when I started the feud.
Sixteen years later we got dropped off in an Uber downtown. In the Uber I checked my bank account and realized that the Uber ride was the only part of the trip I would be able to afford. When we got inside the Magnolia hotel I informed my friend of the news. After rounds of beers, Japanese whiskey, and cigars we headed to the strip club. A black woman sat on his lap and a Latina sat on mine for what seemed a lifetime as we chatted, flirted and teased into the depths of the night.
So ya wake up in da moaning and ya gonna make ya self a cup of coffee right? But today ain’t like de odda deys. Today is a Tuesday and ya don’t really want no coffee be cuz ya already dehydrated. So ya make da coffee anyways and ya get ya breakfast in ya belly and ya head off to work.
Now on de way to work ya buy a pack of smokes. Just like any odda day ya buy a pack of smokes ya see but today ain’t like da odda dayz be cuz today is a Tuesday. Ya don’t really wanna buy a pack of smokes cuz ya already dehydrated but what the hell ya buy em anywayz.
So ya sitting there chewing tobbakey in ya car right?
What do you know?
Today’s different.
It’s Tuesday.
Ya don’t want to be chewing tobakkey, no, not really, because ya dehydrated, right?
But what de hell?
A little chewing tobbakkey never hurt no body, huh?
So ya at lunch and there is this wild crazy woman who if ya talk to her ya know no matter what some kind of nightmare in da flesh is going to go down and ya don’t really want to talk to her cuz it’s Tuesday and ya dehydrated but what’s really da big deal? So ya make plans to go out for drinks after ya work day.
Ya getting a little low on cash at the bah so ya take out ya credit card.
Not really the thing ya want to do, but what the hell it’s Tuesday and ya already dehydrated so might as well get anodda round for da boys and de crazy broad who just walked into meet ya.
When I saw you in that lingerie I knew I must be crazy
When I saw you on that first day I knew I was going crazy
When I saw you in those shorts by my bed I was crazy
When I saw you on my porch while I was mowing the lawn I was gone
Two times two don’t equal four when you are at my door knocking to get in
Listening to my music then this song writes itself, refrain and what comes next
When I saw you in that lingerie I knew I must be crazy
When I saw you on that first day I knew I was going crazy
When I saw you in those shorts by my bed I was crazy
When I saw you on my porch while I was mowing the lawn I was gone
Three kids and a forth on the way, insurance is paid
Alright, goodnight is all you said and I was still in love looking forward to tomorrow night
When I saw you in that lingerie I knew I must be crazy
When I saw you on that first day I knew I was going crazy
When I saw you in those shorts by my bed I was crazy
When I saw you on my porch while I was mowing the lawn I was gone
